Malfeasance and Defalcation

Consciousness should be on trial for malfeasance and defalcation.

If you look closely (and I mean closely) at present experience—the arising and bubbling of consciousness—it is impossible not to notice that your attention is being hijacked faster than you can comment on it, faster than you can make sense of it, which implies that all the sense that you think you’re making is grossly inaccurate at best, and totally contrived at worst—

…but then the worst case scenario turns out to be a window into Awake.

Unutterable incredulity is not naïveté; on the contrary it is the gnosis of object-free intelligence. The world is constructed from moment to moment through inattention, and though such default hypnosis permeates the collective ontology of our species, it turns out to be specious. This is not unrelated to the fact that humanity is careening into the extinction wall.

Any serious student of cessation and Nibbāna understands that extinction in such context refers to the end of ignorance and the release from unsatisfactoriness, which end may or may not coincide with the species blinking out of existence.

The moment of transformation comes with a realization that the object of every representation is some formerly-conceived representation, in an infinite regress of hallucinatory self-reference, exposing itself to itself from beneath its own raincoat.

We can never apprehend the truth since there is no truth, and that’s the truth. It’s when we come to recognize our utter failure (and this needn’t be some dramatic dark night of the soul) that we glimpse the end of becoming.

You can say (and many do) all kinds of clever and intriguing shit about it, but really it is the end of making any enviable proclamations or claiming anything about yourself or your perceptions, the end of worrying and planning for the future, the end of  analysis and control and security, the end of existence as a separate entity.  Sorry.  Consolation: It can be a doorway into gaping, wide-eyed wonder.

— edited and paraphrased by JJM from Night Sky Sangha


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